Like many of you, I attended several motivational seminars in my 20’s and 30’s to try to find success in my personal and professional life. Those were the days before the internet, so they were all in person (although there might have been some on VHS or cassette tape) and they were very expensive. In addition to the cost of the seminar, I often had to travel to cities such as Los Angeles or Chicago to attend, so the cost would run into the thousands of dollars.
Now that I’m retired, you might think that the motivation to get ahead would have subsided. After all, retirement is supposed to be a time to relax and enjoy a stress-free life. Right?
Maybe not. The motivation to have a successful career or business may not be a driving force anymore, but there is a goal that is more important to me: Finding health, happiness and meaning in retirement (the Japanese have a term for this: “ikigai,” or the meaning of your life. Read about my search for ikigai in the post, How to Find Your Ikigai in Retirement).
“You can be really old at 60, and you can be really young at 85.”
-Jane Fonda
We’ve all heard the phrase “age is just a number,” and recent studies are proving this to be true. Data from the Ohio Longitudinal Study of Aging and Retirement show that people with a positive perception of ageing lived an average of 7.5 years longer than those with a negative perception. Positive attitudes reduce the risk of heart disease and dementia, even when there is a genetic predisposition. And while longevity is a goal that
most of us strive for, the quality of life is equally important. How can we maintain or even improve our sense of well-being in our later years?
One interesting experiment that explored a way to do this was called the “Counterclockwise Programme” (CCP). Participants 75 years old or older were housed in a retreat environment for six days where they lived as if they were actually living 20 years back in time. Researchers provided magazines, television programs and movies that were popular 20 years ago. Participants were to talk about “current events” (events from 20 years ago) in the present tense and not talk about things that happened after that time. The objective was not to remember what life was like 20 years ago, but to live as if it was 20 years ago.
The results of the experiment were pretty amazing: Hearing, memory and grip strength improved. Photos of the participants were rated as appearing younger after the retreat than before. Vision, joint flexibility, IQ, gait and posture all improved.
The authors of the study attributed these changes to a change in mindset. Ageing is in part a self-fulfilling prophecy that is a reflection of one’s ageing stereotypes. If you think that you are becoming more feeble and less functional as you age, then you will. The participants experienced a “previous self” when the chronological process of ageing was disconnected from their presumed physical decline, thus turning back the clock. Once they experienced this self and realized that it was a product of their mindset, they were able to break free from the self-imposed limitations and become more open to the “psychology of possibility.”
While it might be fun to trick your mind and turn the clock back 20 years, there are other ways to tap into the “psychology of possibility.” I have taken motivational seminars in the past and found them to be transformational and life-changing. Three that stood out to me were those offered by the Dale Carnegie Institute, Tony Robbins and Deepak Chopra. But while they were invaluable, they were also expensive and time-consuming. But with the age of the internet, and especially
since the COVID pandemic, there are online alternatives that are both less expensive (or even free) and can often be done at home and at your own pace. Here are three that I have taken after I retired and can highly recommend because they are either free or low-cost, challenging but fun, and deliver what they promise.
Madefor
Madefor is a uniquely designed motivational seminar that focuses on making long-term, long-lasting changes rather than quick fixes that give you a quick hit of energy and motivation but fade out over time. It was founded by Blake Mycoskie, the founder of TOMS shoes and Pat Dossett, a former Navy SEAL and motivational speaker. Dr. Andrew Huberman of the Huberman Lab podcast (of which I am a huge fan) is the lead advisor. He designed many of the seminar’s exercises that create lasting change. It is grounded in scientifically proven methods from the fields of neuroscience, positive psychology and physiology. The program is self-paced and designed with nine challenges that promote the formation of positive habits. They are:
- Hydration – The program starts by focusing on when and how much water you drink every day. It serves as an introduction to the program and as a way to become more aware of your body and habits.
- Gratitude – Teaches how to cultivate a grateful mindset that you can turn to when things get difficult.
- Fuel – Listening to your body’s signals and cues. Being mindful of what, where and how much you eat.
- Connection – Taking a more active role in your relationships and deepening your social connections.
- Breath – Meditation and the power of your own breath.
- Movement – Designing an exercise program and routine and reconnecting with the joy of movement.
- Nature – Becoming more in tune with your environment and the restorative properties of nature.
- Clarity – Becoming more aware of the most important things in your life.
- Rest – Focusing on sleep, which is a vital but often overlooked tool for health and well-being.
- Vision – Using the insights that you’ve gained to create a more intentional future for yourself and your community.
Each of the challenges is designed to be completed in 21 days, so the entire program should take approximately nine months to complete. But it is self-paced so you can move through a challenge quickly if you find it easy and take more time if it is difficult. I found the hydration and fuel challenges fairly easy and the gratitude and connection challenges more difficult.
Overall, I found this program to be different than any seminar or workshop that I have ever taken. To use Dr. Huberman’s explanation, it designed to give you small dopamine hits to your brain that promote rewarding and long-lasting habits rather than large “feel-good” hits that give you a quick burst of motivation but fade quickly. It may not feel as good in the short term, but it provides the longest benefit.
The cost of the program is $199 and includes access to the app, all downloadable course material and a chat feature which allows you to build a community of fellow members. There are also Instagram Live lectures, monthly “campfires” with guest motivational speakers and meetings with fellow members, alumni and founders.
I would highly recommend Madefor for people like me who need to know the “why” as well as the “how” when taking a motivational seminar. The methods are based on scientific research but are simple to understand. But just because they are simple, it doesn’t mean that they are easy. The founders of the program understand this and tailor it to start with small victories that will keep you motivated as you move up to more difficult, but doable challenges. But, like any self-improvement work, the bottom line is that you still have to put in the work and will get out of it whatever you put into it.
The Science of Well-Being
The Science of Well-Being is a 10-week self-improvement seminar offered by Coursera. It’s a free online version of Dr. Laurie Santos‘ class on happiness that she taught at Yale University. The in-person class was the most popular class in Yale’s 300 year history and over 3 million people have taken the online seminar. Dr. Santos also has a popular podcast called The Happiness Lab where she talks about the latest scientific research in the field of positive psychology.
The course is designed like a one-quarter university class, with lectures, homework, quizes and a final assignment. There is also an optional Certificate of Completion that you can purchase for $59 from the website after you finish the course, but I’m not quite sure what it is good for. Coursera also offers many other programs where you can earn an online degree from schools such as the University of London, Arizona State University and the University of Michigan.
The class is broken down roughly in half. After a Week One introduction, the first half deals with learning about happiness and, more importantly, what it is not. Weeks 2 is about our misconceptions about what really makes us happy (hint: it’s not a lot of money). Week 3 explains why our expectations of happiness are so off and Week 4 tackles how we can overcome these expectations and biases. Week 5 and onward are about what really makes us happy and teaches healthy practices that truely make us happier. Some of these practices include meditation, kindness, gratitude and social connection.
Whereas the first half of the class is about learning, the second half emphasizes doing. One of my favorite homework assignments had to do with savoring – the act of stepping out of your experience to review it and truely appreciate it while it is happening. I found this really helpful for learning how to be in the now and to have gratitude for present moment.
Before you begin the class, you take a brief survey to measure your level of happiness. During the class, you do “rewirement” exercises and track your progress. And at the end of the class, you take the survey again to re-measure your level of happiness. My level rose slightly, but I have to admit that I was pretty happy before beginning the class. In addition, I was already experienced in some of the rewirement exercises such as meditation and gratutude. But I can see why this class is so popular. It’s a great introduction into why so many people are unhappy and what can be done to become happier.
I probably should warn those of a certain age: This is a college-level class and most of the students in the recorded lectures are college-aged. Most of their questions, comments and concerns are relevant to this age group: Getting good grades, finding a good job, love relationships, etc. These may not be concerns for older adults, but they are a good reminder to be grateful that we don’t have to deal with them anymore!
DreamBulder LIVE™
If you are looking for an online motivational seminar that is close to an in-person event, I would recommend the 3-day DreamBuilder® LIVE by Mary Morrissey and her BraveThinking® Institute. Like most live motivational seminars that I’ve been to, DreamBuilder LIVE™ is designed to hype you up with motivational speeches and stories (complete with laugh track), loud music and dancing. But since you are participating in the privacy of your own home, you can yell and
scream and jump around as much as you want without feeling too self-conscious (important for an introvert like me).
Another advantage of being online is that you get to meet other participants from around the world. The seminar that I attended in January, 2022 had over 4000 attendees from over 90 countries. An important part of the seminar are the “breakout rooms” where you meet with four or five participants to do motivational exercises, and I got to meet people from Norway, New Zealand, the Carribean and all over the U.S. There is also a private Facebook group where you can make friends with fellow seminar alumni.
My favorite breakout exercise was something called “Time Machine.” After spending some time focusing and defining the goals and dreams that you want to accomplish in the next three years, you enter a breakout room and image that it is three years in the future. You describe what your life is like in as much detail as you can – as if you have fulfilled all of your dreams. I’ve done this exercise on my own, but saying it out loud to another person is what makes it transformative. I’ve already seen positive changes in my life in the direction of my dream and can’t wait to see where I will be in three years.
Besides the exercises and breakout rooms, there are motivational speakers each day. Mary Morrissey is a best-selling author who has over 40 years of experience as a motivator and teacher, and her story is very compelling. She has overcome great physical, personal, financial and legal problems, all of which she speaks openly about. Diana Nyad, who swam from Cuba to Miami at age 64 (without a shark cage!) was also great, especially for the older adults looking for more motivation and passion in their lives. Finally, there was “Captain Jack.” I won’t get into much detail of his story, but his talk was pretty much worth the cost of the seminar.
Speaking of cost, the 3-day seminar was only $79. Compared to similar seminars such as Tony Robbins’ Life Mastery Virtual ($2,995) or Jack Canfield’s Breakthrough to Success ($695 online or $3,495 in person), DreamBuilder® LIVE is very reasonably priced. The catch to the seminar is that there are promotions to sign up for their Certified Coach Training and Life Mastery Consultant programs that run into the thousands of dollars. But the promotions are pretty low key and do not detract from the message. They are similar to a PBS pledge break; it can be a good time to grab a snack or cup of coffee if you aren’t interested in becoming a life coach. But if you are and maybe want to start a new career, it might definitely be something to listen to.
Conclusion
As we age, it’s vital to develop a “psychology of possibility.” When I first retired, I was a little lost and wasn’t sure in what direction my life was headed. You can read more about my story here. Each of these seminars helped me to navigate the transition into retirement. The Madefor course was great for laying the groundwork for creating the structure to make lasting and meaningful change. The Science of Well-Being class reinforced my concepts of what happiness and
gratitude mean to me. And the DreamBuilder LIVE™ seminar energized me to continue moving in a positive direction and to realize that achieving goals and dreams are possible at any age. I’m looking forward to seeing what I can accomplish in the next three years and then the three years after that. To me, that is the meaning of the “psychology of possibility!”